It’s natural to experience changes in your sex drive over time, even from day to day. Your sex drive can hit sexual peaks or become lower as you age due to factors like hormone levels and life changes.
You likely won't notice a dramatic difference in your libido when you enter different decades of life. Factors that affect your libido just tend to happen as you transition from your 20s to your 40s and beyond. Here's what else you need to know about libido changes.
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What Causes Low Sex Drive?
Your sex drive, or your libido, is your desire to have sex, and libido at any age is complex. Many factors—both biological and psychological—influence whether you feel like having sex at any age.
Sex hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone— hormones everyone produces—play a role in desire, arousal, and orgasm. As you age, these hormones naturally start to dip and can lead to a lower sex drive.
There's no normal level of sex drive as you age, and hormones alone don't affect your libido. Other factors can include:
Anxiety and depressionCertain medications—such as antidepressants, birth control pills, and blood pressure medicationChronic conditions, like chronic kidney disease or diabetesIllnessMenstrual cycleParenthoodRelationship problems Your Sex Drive In Your 20s
Like many bodily drives and functions, your sex drive is usually pretty strong in your 20s. Hormones in male and female reproductive systems have not started to change enough to cause libido changes.
The hormonal changes during a person’s menstrual cycle also affect their sex drive. Estrogen level increases can increase libido through ovulation. At that point, testosterone and estrogen levels are at their highest, but these levels drop and can decrease your sex drive post-ovulation.
If your sex drive is low in your 20s, it could also be due to low testosterone for individuals assigned male at birth or hormonal birth control. Consider checking in with a healthcare provider if you’re dealing with a low sex drive in your 20s to help rule out low testosterone levels or to switch your birth control method.
Your Sex Drive In Your 30s
Dropping testosterone levels may be to blame if your craving for physical intimacy declines in your 30s. In addition, increasing life responsibilities can also lower sex drive. Stress can suppress the sex hormone testosterone and elevate the stress hormone cortisol.
Those hormonal changes you experience during your menstrual cycle can also influence your sex drive in your 30s. You may also have to deal with low sex drive associated with pregnancy and children due to:
Hormone shifts during each trimesterStress and fatigue adjusting to parenthood for both parentsUncomfortable sex due to vaginal dryness Your Sex Drive In Your 40s and Beyond
During perimenopause—the 5-to-10-year stretch before menopause—your ovaries gradually decrease estrogen production until you reach menopause. This estrogen drop can lower your sex drive and alter how sex feels as you lose some natural vaginal lubrication.
There may be a noticeable difference in libido during this time for men as well. Researchers found that men aged 18 to 29 had sex drives three times higher than men aged 40 to 60.
Your 40s and 50s can also be a sexually liberating time. You likely know your body and what turns you on by now, and you're more likely to speak up about what you like.
When To See A Healthcare Provider About Low Sex Drive
Your libido will generally return to normal if you experience a dip in sexual desires, so it's typical for it to fluctuate. You may want to see a healthcare provider, however, if you have concerns about your libido.
A provider can work with you to determine any factors that may be responsible for low libido. You'll also want to talk to them if you feel your medications play a role—just don't stop taking those medications without speaking to the prescribing provider first.
In addition, talk with a healthcare provider or sex therapist for times when your desire for sex doesn’t return and starts affecting your mental health and relationship. Long-term low libido may sometimes be the result of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).
HSDD is the diagnosis of a low sex drive that doesn't return after at least 6 months and causes extended stress and frustration. While it may be frustrating, HSDD is treatable.
Treatment Options
Depending on your situation, changing medications or treating specific health conditions may help increase your sex drive. Therapy may also help you manage life and relationship stressors so you can start getting your mojo back.
If your low sex drive is related to hormone changes from childbirth or menopause, your healthcare provider may suggest hormonal treatments. If vaginal dryness makes you avoid sex because of pain, using a vaginal lubricant or vaginal moisturizer can also help make sex comfortable again.
Stress reduction techniques (like yoga or meditation) may help with stress-related declines in sex drive. If you’re dealing with vaginal dryness or low libido after childbirth, a healthcare provider may also suggest hormonal treatments, lubricants, or vaginal moisturizers.
Partner Support
It could be discouraging for you and your partner if you’re not in the mood for sex. It’s OK if you don’t feel like having sex, but talking about it with your partner is helpful.
Communication helps promote a strong, honest, and respectful relationship. It can allow you to ask questions about each other's wants and needs and know exactly what they are.
You'll also be able to expand on each other's definitions of sexual activity and intimacy. Having open communication about sex drive ultimately allows partners to be aware of one another's feelings and find possible ways to compromise.
A Quick Review
While your sexual desires can change at any time, specific trends tend to sync with your 20s, 30s, and 40s and affect your sex drive. Sex drive ebbs and flows daily, not just with age, and there's also no right amount of sex drive.
It can be helpful, still, to see a healthcare provider if you have questions or concerns about your sex drive. Certain treatments, or even being communicative with your partner, can help restore libido.